Mermaid Musings

IDK

2012-01-05T18:41:00.003-05:00

What do you say to the kid who has just found out his mom has been arrested for possession with intent to distribute meth? I'm sorry, this is shocking, this is disappointing, this really sucks are all I can come up with. I have such a rocky relationship the 18-year-old for whom I am legal guardian, anyway, and I have no idea how to comfort him. I can say she really had me fooled. Honestly, I think I won't believe it until I see the arrest record or can find it in the news or something -- despite everything, she and I have formed a better relationship than the one I have with him, and I'm am quite stunned, to say the least. I have grown to trust her over the past three years, to believe she had cleaned up her act and was making good choices. Doug now tells me he knew it all along, could see evidence, etc. Gah, dunno what to do or say, other than, as I said above, I'm sorry. :(

2012-01-04T18:41:00.000-05:00

This is one of my seniors, who came in on her last day of winter break to help me do some rearranging and decorating in my classroom today. Gotta love a helpful, goofy kid!

2012-01-02T10:25:00.002-05:00

It's only day two of 2012, but we're "tightening the belts" again. It happens every year, and man, it's such a downer after the holidays. We did not spend too much, as we pared down the gift list considerably; rather, it's more of an OCD thing that my husband has in that, he is compelled to be conservative immediately after a holiday. We are exactly where we were before Christmas, I assure you. I've been on vacation since December 16 (Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Clause!) and I suddenly realized DH and I haven't had a single date the whole time. With work looming on the Wednesday horizon, I asked him to go out with me tonight. He really didn't even have to finish his statement about why we need to watch the spending because I could see the look on his face, that "oh damn, she is not going to like what I am about to say, but I am going to have to say it anyway" look. "We really cannot spend a lot," he says, "We're going to have to slow down." I fire back, "I was talking about dinner. Didn't mean to imply we should go to an expensive place and spend all that we possibly can." He will come to me later and ask I still want to go out, and I will say no, and we will eat leftovers. However, I am planning for this next year. That's how we married people roll, baby -- turn that resentment into a long term plan for revenge. I love that man. <3

2012

2012-01-01T17:50:00.002-05:00

Cracks me up that this blog still exists because I subscribe to the "use it or lose it" theory. :) I want to write again, but I'm not sure how much time I want to devote to blogging. If I could find and launch an engaging project of some sort, I might write about that. I'm open to suggestions, if there is anyone reading out there who would like to throw in two cents' worth.Is it weird that I don't really have anything exciting to say about 2011? Simply put, it was a great year. Not every day can be fabulous, but I was happy most of the time this year, which is pretty effin' awesome. A 2011 recap, in no particular order:• Foster boy enlisted in the Marines on delayed entry and will ship out in June. I am relieved to think I am getting my life back. Don’t judge – you haven’t lived this.• I earned my MA in Secondary Ed. and added gifted education to my certificate. I also took the College Board training to teach AP Language.• Bio girl finished college and is now seeking full-time work in phlebotomy. She is also dating a worthy recipient of her affections, for a change.• Bio boy enrolled in one of my honors classes; it’s been a trip to teach my own child.• A gift of a Kindle Fire (a gadget I swore I would never own because I dislike the fact that e-books are replacing the real books that I love, as well as putting bookstores out of business) threw me into the 21st century. Reluctantly, I must admit I love it. Not sure what to think about that.• We experienced record snow this year, but also managed to have the best vegetable garden ever.• DH grows older, softer, and rounder, but so do I. We love each other, and it's good. • I created two paintings that are not half bad, much to my own amusement.• Took a trip to Panama City with a girlfriend and left the family at home. Will definitely do this again.• Had a random weekend getaway to Charleston with DH. Will definitely do this again, too.• I committed to buying local whenever possible and love this lifestyle. • Extended family came here for the holidays, for the first time since the year my dad died. It was wonderful to host them. • Realized that the stress of my current teaching position is making me ill in many ways, but I plan to keep this assignment until after my son graduates. I think I can hang in there one more year. I still want to teach, but I am not sure about the what and the where.And now, some pictures. If you know me on Facebook, you've probably seen these before. You'll be OK.

"Fuck you" Sign language performance

2011-01-13T17:50:00.002-05:00

This video made my day! She is so expressive, and what a daring choice for a final exam. Truly laughed outloud.

Snowjam 2011

2011-01-10T16:34:00.005-05:00

This is my 19-year-old and her dog being silly in the snow.

First attempt in a box was a fail, but funny.

Second attempt on a boogie board was much better!

Cold Weather Weirdness

2011-01-08T15:43:00.003-05:00

Gearing up for what will evidently be a major snow storm, I braved the grocery store to stock up on supplies. It was a nightmare, as it always is when something like this happens: hundreds of people in the store jostling each other, trying to buy the last loaf of bread, the last gallon of milk, etc. Anywho, as I was loading my groceries into my car, I saw the most random sight ever. If it weren't for the fact that the guy would have probably thought I was some weird stalker, I would have taken a picture. The guy seated in the passenger side of the car next to me was sitting in his car, eating cereal. Not so weird, yet, right? You gotta understand -- he was holding a HUGE plastic bowl FULL of some kids cereal, complete with milk, wolfing it down with a LARGE spoon. Anyone remember Jethro eating cereal on The Beverly Hillbillies? I was cracking up while loading my groceries. Still funny. Still wish I had taken a picture.

2011 in Review

2011-01-02T16:27:00.002-05:00

I did this same quiz last year and thought it would be interesting to do it again. Take time to reflect.

1. What did you do in 2010 that you’d never done before?

I kissed a girl, and I liked it. Just kidding – did that before. Um, even though I have been to graduate school before, it feels different this time. Perhaps that counts. Also, I cooked a standing rib roast, which I had never attempted before. It was surprisingly easy and oh, so delicious. I joined a group of women friends, with whom I meet regularly for dinner, drinks, and fun excursions. We call ourselves "Mothers Against (Drinking the) Kool-Aid, or MAKA for short, and it's a tongue-in-cheek reference to the dreaded band booster parents. Long story.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

One of my resolutions was to go back to graduate school, and I did that, with great success. I will have my MA in Teaching at the end of June, via cohort with Piedmont College. As far as a resolution for this year, I have decided to let go of insecurities I have about my home and do more entertaining here, which probably means I will be doing little home improvement projects throughout the year. I like this plan.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

My niece Jaime had a tiny little son about 6 weeks early; this little fighter is doing just fine.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

My husband's uncle died; he was a sweet man, whom I've known since I was about 20.

5. What countries did you visit?

Sadly, I did not travel out of the country this year. Someday, that will happen again.

6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?

I need more free time, but I don't think that will happen until I finish my master's degree. I would also like to have more self-discipline for exercise. I am not as healthy as I would like to be.

7. What dates from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

Mother's Day was memorable because my foster son was a total dick that day. Sorry, but it's true. Also, December 27th, we bought our daughter a new car, of which she will take over the payments when she moves out.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

I am maintaining a 4.0 in graduate school, despite work, family, responsibilities, and other distractions.

9. What was your biggest failure?

I am not sure this is MY failure, but it has become very clear to me that I am not the mom that my foster son wants, and I never will be. I have decided that he will move out after he graduates in 2012, and I will close up this painful chapter of my life for good. On a less serious note, I failed to stay on track with a healthy lifestyle and have regained some weight. Bleh.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

I currently have bronchitis again, which sucks ass. Also, early in December, I wiped out on the pavement in front of the convenience store near my house, and it took an inordinate amount of time for me to heal up from that fall. That shit made me feel really old, if you want to know the truth. Tore the knee of my favorite pants when I fell, too, dammit.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

For someone else, a five-hour NASCAR experience at Atlanta Motor Speedway, for which my husband is eternally grateful. For myself, hmm, probably something for the kitchen.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

My husband, daughter, and son have shown amazing patience and maturity as our home has been taken over by a person who makes life difficult for everyone. We have a closer family bond than every, and this is good for my soul. Also, my daughter is becoming quite a responsible young adult, and I'm proud of the woman that she is.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

Doug. No further explanation necessary.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Bills, bills, bills. Wish it could go for fun, fun, fun, but we do have to have a roof over our heads, food on the table, etc.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

The laptop Mike gave me for Valentine's Day is one of the coolest presents he ever gave me. It's a cute little mini that goes everywhere I go. Also, for Christmas, he gave me a freestanding pantry, and if you've ever seen my little galley kitchen, you realize how much larger he just made my kitchen with this thoughtful gift.
16. What song will always remind you of 2010?

Three songs actually: Children of Sanchez, Black Magic Woman, Meleguena. These are the three songs that composed the halftime show for the Marching Wildcats this year. My son was an integral part of the drumline, and I enjoyed every game, every exhibition, every competition, every parade, all because I got to watch him play.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

a) happier or sadder? Happier in almost every way.
b) thinner or fatter? Ugh, fatter.
c) richer or poorer? The same, unfortunately.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

I wish I had taken more time to read for pleasure, had spent more time with friends (although I did enjoy a few very pleasant evenings with a group of women who have become my closest friends), and relaxed more. Wish I had worked out more often, too.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

I wish I had spent less time running around like a chicken with my head cut off. I also think I drank too much beer this year. Beer makes me fat(ter)!

20. How did you spend Christmas?

I spent it at home with my family, and I feel no shame in admitting that I was happy that Doug spent Christmas with his family.

21. Did you fall in love in 2010?

This will sound sappy, but I fall in love with my husband even more every year.

22. What was your favorite TV program?

Glee and True Blood are at the top of my list.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

Hate is such a strong word. My friend became my boss in 2010, a challenging arrangement.

24. What was the best book you read?

The Art of Racing in the Rain made me laugh out loud, cry, and want to read it again. We camped out Labor Day weekend, and I was able to spend some precious time reading for pleasure.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?

André Rieu

26. What did you want and get?

I wanted to go back to grad school and did that. I wanted more technology in my classroom, too, and when I moved into the new building, I got an overhead LCD projector and surround sound speakers. I also wanted more job satisfaction, and I like my classes so much more this year.

27. What did you want and not get?

More wiggle room in the budget. Sigh.

28. What was your favorite film of this year?

Harry Potter 7, and more recently, Black Swan. Both were worth enduring the theater, and I do not say that about very many movies.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 44 on my birthday, which was a Tuesday this year. I worked and went out with my husband.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

More sex. We honestly have not made enough time for this important connection.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?

Comfort.

32. What kept you sane?

My family.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

This might sound odd, but I will have to say Meryl Streep. It amazes me how beautiful and energetic she is at her age, and I hope to have that life about me when I am older.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?

The election.

35. Who did you miss?

Still miss my dad.

36. Who was the best new person you met?

In 2010, I met someone in graduate school who has become an amazing friend. She and I partnered together on several projects, and she's wonderful. Unfortunately, she has moved 100 or so miles away, which means I will see her a lot less often. :/ I'm not good at maintaining long-distance friendships.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010.

You cannot help people who don't want to be helped.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

Reaching for something in the distance

So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

39. What happened to one of these questions?

Last year, there was a question about one night stands. The number is still zero. :)

40. Will you repost this again in a year?

Yes.

2011

2011-01-01T23:52:00.001-05:00

It's nearly midnight as I sit here listening to the sounds of the dishwasher chugging away in tandem with Mike's snoring. This first day of the new year has been both entertaining and busy. I spent hours on the food - always with the food - but still found time to enjoy the company of my husband and good friends. The highlight of the day was making the men turn off the bowl games so that the women could watch An Affair to Remember, and yes, we cried a little, as always. The men laughed at us, of course. I have a sort of non-resolution-y resolution; I want more of this. I enjoy entertaining at home, in theory, but rarely invite people over. How's this for honesty? I'm embarrassed by my house. Oh, it's clean enough, but I am self-conscious about every stain on the carpet, every worn out piece of furniture, etc. When I can get past the embarrassment and invite people over, they have a great time, as do I, and no one ever says, "Did you know you have a stain on your living room rug?" One day, I will have the money to replace/upgrade, but in the meantime, I need to just get over it and enjoy the occasional dinner party, despite these imperfections. Sounds like a plan.

Wednesday To-Do

2010-12-29T11:25:00.000-05:00

Things to do:
Take Daisy to the vet. This now six-month old doggie needs to be caught up on her shots before we can have her spayed.

Things to make:
Lemon Ricotta Cookies with Lemon Glaze. Saw these yesterday on the Cooking Channel, and assembled ingredients immediately.

Things to see:
Planning to go see Black Swan; completely fascinated by this movie.

It's been a while

2010-12-24T19:45:00.000-05:00

A long, long while. It's been a good year, mostly, but a busy year. I am in grad school again, earning a Master of Arts in teaching, and happy to report that I am pulling in a 4.0 GPA after 2 terms. I will complete my program in June. The reason for this new degree is two-fold and selfish: more money and increased job security. I am also working on my gifted certification and will add AP certification this summer; I have to teach a smarter breed of kids if I want to stay in the classroom. The problem children are emotionally draining. How's that for honesty? I am not kidding myself into thinking that smarter kids are better kids all the time, but at least they are a different kind of problem and the classes are smaller.

Speaking of problem children, Doug continues to be very challenging. He is 17 now, and basically, we have already agreed that he will move out when he graduates in 2012. If anyone does not recall, this is my foster son. How to explain it; I guess because I am the mom figure, he takes out all of his anger and resentment toward his mother on yours truly. He treats me like crap, basically, all the while insisting that he loves me, and us, and is glad we are his family. He spends a lot of time with his biological parents, who are surprisingly normal, considering Doug, and we actually like them. They live 45 minutes away, and he wants to finish high school where he started; therefore, he will stay until he graduates, and then he can move in with them. They have turned their lives around, and he will be either in college or in the Marines. No reason why they can't be his home address.

My other two kiddos are now 19 and 16, and wonderfully happy, successfully navigating college and high school, respectively. Chelsea changed her major to phlebotomy and will earn her certificate around the same time I finish my master's. She tells us she plans to move out in the fall of next year, after she lands a job in a clinic or hospital. In a year or two, she wants to go back to school for an ultrasound certification. She is a manager at Coldstone Creamery and is currently dating a guy who might be a little old for her. He is 25 and is part owner/manager of the Johnny's Pizza next door. However, he treats her well, and as she puts it, it's nice to date a guy who has his shit together. She is a girl who knows what she wants. She is her mother's daughter, and I love her bitchiness. :)

Michael is all about band and spends more time practicing the drums than any kid I know. He is an amazing musician, and thankfully, is not quite as lazy toward schoolwork in high school as he was in middle school. Halfway through his sophomore year, he is on track for graduation and should be able to qualify for both HOPE and music scholarships, if he keeps up the good work. He is interested in girls, but not obsessed, which is fine with me. He makes me laugh every day and entertains us all.

And as for my dear husband Mike, he continues to be the man I fell in love with and then some. He is steady as a rock. He will never be perfect, but he makes me happy. We see the light at the end of the tunnel as we look toward those days when it is just the two of us again. We are already talking about the cruise we will take for our 25th anniversary (2013).

All the above is just a status check and a start. Perhaps I will be able to blog again in earnest. Hang in there!

Wow

2010-12-19T22:21:00.000-05:00

Talking to a good blog friend tonight made me miss my blogging days. I can't promise anything, butI plan to give blogging a shot again. Just not tonight. :)

Handbook for Life… 2010

2010-08-02T13:42:00.000-04:00

Handbook for Life… 2010

Really Liked This One

2010-06-16T23:21:00.003-04:00

Ten Rules for Being Human
by Cherie Carter-Scott

1. You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it’s yours to keep for the entire period.

2. You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called, “life.”

3. There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of trial, error, and experimentation. The “failed” experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiments that ultimately “work.”

4. Lessons are repeated until they are learned. A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can go on to the next lesson.

5. Learning lessons does not end. There’s no part of life that doesn’t contain its lessons. If you’re alive, that means there are still lessons to be learned.

6. “There” is no better a place than “here.” When your “there” has become a “here”, you will simply obtain another “there” that will again look better than “here.”

7. Other people are merely mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects to you something you love or hate about yourself.

8. What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.

9. Your answers lie within you. The answers to life’s questions lie within you. All you need to do is look, listen, and trust.

10. You will forget all this.

R.I.P. Dixie

2010-05-30T09:22:00.003-04:00

1995-2010

A Morning Rant

2010-05-29T10:14:00.002-04:00

Thank God for summer vacation; it couldn't have come fast enough. Now that I have gotten away from the stress of work (I'm off work until August 6!), I can breathe, work on my graduate studies, and chill out. Or can I? The family is just...irritating, a sign that I probably need a day or two away from them.

My son asked me last night if I would take him to a video game store soon so he can buy a particular game he wants. Note: he has no money; I would be paying for this game. I said maybe next week, doing the parental deflecting thing. I probably should have simply said, "No." The first words out of his mouth this morning were, "When we go to GameStop, can we go to the one at the mall? I also want to get a hat from the sports store." What happened to, "Good morning?"

I walked into the kitchen, where my husband was pouring himself a bowl of cereal. I asked if we had anything else for breakfast, and he snarled, "I don't feel like cooking anything this morning." He cooks breakfast practically every weekend morning, but by no means do I EXPECT him to cook for me; therefore, I don't understand the attitude.

The other two aren't up yet, so who knows what loveliness they will add to the day? I definitely to get out of here and take some me time!

Coolness

2010-04-19T18:38:00.003-04:00

Architect and engineers compete to see whose team can build the most spectacular structure using little more than cans of food at 'Canstruction,' the 13th annual NYC Design and Build competition in New York. All these cans will go to the food bank afterwards. This one is my favorite, for several reasons. ;)

Confession

2010-04-04T10:08:00.003-04:00

My husband enjoys beer, and I have no problem with that. However, it does bother me that he posts so frequently on Facebook while he's drinking his beer, about drinking beer. He makes it sound as though he sits around drunk every day, and while it shouldn't matter what other people think, it does bother me that people ask questions like, "How many have you had today?" When I ask him to lay off the FUI (Facebooking Under the Influence) he just laughs. He finds the whole thing very amusing. Maybe it bothers me because, honestly, I do worry sometimes that he drinks too much. Meh.

On a scale of 1-10...

2010-03-30T21:01:00.003-04:00

Well, it's been a long time since I updated. It's that time of year -- as we inch ever closer to the end of the year, my work life has been a blur of preparation for graduation tests and end of course tests. It's good, just busy.

Several people have asked me how things are going with Doug. Life with Doug is challenging and, at times, exhausting. He can be such a sweet and quirky young man, but he can also be a real pain in the ass. Need an example?

When Doug is sick, he is the sickest person in the world. Ever. When he is in pain no one has ever had this much pain before. Ever. You see the pattern? On this one particular day recently, he and I had a discussion about therapy in the car -- I want him to start seeing a counselor; he does not want to do this. He was angry with me, but seemed OK once we got to school. When the bell rang he went on to class just like every day. Fifteen minutes later, he came in with a pass from his teacher. He said he was not feeling well. He didn't seem sick, and I know how he can be, so I gave him a little tough love and told him to go back to class. I asked him to try to tough it out until lunchtime, since this was an early release day anyway. He agreed to try and went back to class. Another ten minutes or so went by before two administrators, a teacher, and a school counselor showed up at my door to inform me that Doug had "fallen out" in class and needed my help immediately. They assured me that they had already called an ambulance. I asked them to please cancel the ambulance. I know I sound like a bitch but I knew in my heart that he was fine; therefore, I didn't panic and join the freakout posse. They were all staring at me like "Why aren't you upset about this?" I did hurry over to his classroom, where he was writhing on the floor with a gaggle of shocked students around him. Oh, he was putting on quite the show: he was moaning, groaning, holding his stomach, and biting down on his belt, which he had pulled off his pants for that very purpose. NOTE: In his free hand, he was holding his cell phone. This is a detail that will be important later. Of course, I asked him about his condition, etc. The administrators helped to get him to a standing position. We walked him out of the class and as far as my classroom in the next building, where I got him to sit in a chair for a moment.

Check this. Despite all the moaning and groaning, he had not one tear in his eyes. He had not broken a sweat. By now, the school nurse had arrived. His pulse was normal. His blood pressure was normal. He had no fever. His color was normal. He simply had inexplicable and apparently excrutiating pain. One of the admins is married to an EMT, so she insisted we at least call him to check him over, and again, there was no explanation for his pain. He did vomit once but it was all water, and literally looked as though he gulped down a couple of bottles of water, then gagged himself. During all of this process, Doug wanted to hold my hand. He was stroking my hand and telling me how much he loves me and how much he has appreciated everything I have done for him. "C'mon Doug. Keep it real, buddy; you're not dying," I reassured him. "I'm not so sure about that," he replied, still firmly holding on to his cell phone.

Having gotten my class covered, I left school to drive him to the ER. As soon as we pulled out of the parking lot, he started feeling better. He said, "Maybe I should just go home and rest." "No," I insisted. "We need to make sure you are OK." In my head, I was fuming because I knew he wasn't really sick, but hell, what could I do, right?

When we got to the ER, this child was just the calmest thing you have ever seen. He ENJOYED every minute of this. He liked the novelty of wearing a gown. He was excited about the fact that he had an x-ray. He asked questions about every little thing they did to him. With a smile on his face, he told the nurse that his pain level was a "5 or 6" on a scale of 1-10, having dropped from the "9.5" it was earlier. The worst moment for him was when they drew blood; as you surely have guessed, he was a total wimp about it. When he saw the doctor, he told him that this has happened to him at least 3 times before, and the worst time was when he had pain at a level 9 for four days straight. Have any of you ever had severe pain that you might describe as a 5 or a 6, or heaven forbid, a 9? If you have, then you know that you can barely speak, much less smile about your pain level. You sweat. You get pale. You cry.

Despite every test he could order in the ER, the doctor could find NOTHING wrong with Doug. He said that he MIGHT have a stomach virus, and sometimes, those can be painful. $517, 6 hours, and one very satisfied customer later, the doc released us with a suggestion that we make an appointment with our family physician if anything like this every occurs again. Tada. And the nominee for the soap-opera worthy performance is....

Now back to that cell phone. While Doug was taking a nap, I couldn't stand it. I just had to satisfy my curiosity. Um, yeah. While he was in the throes of his near-death experience, he had the time and the energy to carry on text conversations with two different girls about how much he loved them, and how if they were with him, their love could "keep him alive." He told several different people to tell people goodbye for him. This part is almost comical in light of the rest of what I found on his phone. These were some of the most explicit text messages and pictures I have ever seen. Believe me when I say this young man has been having a very good time with his cell phone, which, of course, I took away from him.

For the record, after I told him I had gone through his phone and that he was now on phone restriction, he forgot all about being sick or in pain. He hasn't been sick a day since. What a miracle cure can be achieved by getting into trouble, right?

I have to remind myself daily that things like this are symptoms of the problems which are the reason why I took him into our home in the first place.

One Week Later in Georgia

2010-02-21T09:14:00.005-05:00

See what I mean? A week ago this little guy was buried under 6 inches of snow in my flowerbed. Now he's out, nodding to the promise of spring. We're supposed to reach a glorious 65 today. Trust me, I'm not complaining one bit, after all the cold weather we've had; I'm just saying that the weather in Georgia is truly bipolar.

Bipolar Weather in Georgia

2010-02-13T09:55:00.002-05:00

Delicious Fish

2010-02-11T20:14:00.003-05:00

Made this tonight with a side of brocolli and cheese; it was pronounced awesome, unanimously. Give it a try!

Pancetta Parmesan Tilapia

4 ounces pancetta, cooked and crumbled
1 1/2 cups soft breadcrumbs
1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese
2 tablespoons chopped fresh Italian parsley
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
2 large eggs
4 (5- to 6-ounce) tilapia fillets
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground pepper
4 tablespoons butter, divided
4 tablespoons olive oil, divided

Combine first 4 ingredients in a shallow dish. Set aside.

Place flour in a shallow dish. Whisk eggs in a medium bowl. Sprinkle fish with salt and pepper, and dredge in flour. Shake off excess, dip fish into egg, and press gently into breadcrumb mixture.

Heat 2 tablespoons butter and 2 tablespoons oil in a large heavy skillet over medium heat until butter melts. Add 2 fish fillets; cook 3 minutes on each side or until golden. Repeat with remaining butter, oil, and fish.

Sickness and more

2010-02-08T18:18:00.002-05:00

I've been sick with what felt like bad allergies for a while, but went to the doctor Thursday evening to get a little medicine, since I was supposed to go out of town for the annual Beta Convention. Turns out I am basically infected from the neck up: sinus infection, double ear infection, tonsillitis, and all of my lymph nodes are swollen. The doctor gave me a steroid shot, plus prescribed steroids, antibiotics, and decongestants, and sent me on my way. Feeling like the situation was under control, I went to the convention, and despite having less energy than normal, I did OK and had a great time with the kids. They are a terrific group, and it's fun to be around them away from school. However, today, I am kicking myself because I am so much sicker. I feel like I have bronchitis. Can't get enough air. Can't stop coughing. I went to school this morning long enough to find a sub and get situated, but I've been at home with the Vicks Vaporizer and the remote control most of the day. I hate being sick worse than anything; it makes me realize how much I do, and it's hard to let other people do stuff for me. I always feel like I can't rely on people, and I would just rather do it myself. Anyone else feel the same way?

Upload some soup, will ya?

Stupid People

2010-02-03T19:43:00.003-05:00

Well, our school is going to be on the news, yet again. The shit hasn't hit the fan yet, but it's only a matter of time. One of our coaches was caught having sex with a student in the weight training room. He's a married guy, with kids, in his 30s, and she is an 18-year-old senior. Sound familiar, Karen?

When people are at their worst, there is a part of me that wants to take my family and move into a yurt in the middle of 100 acres in Montana, with no phone, no TV, and no internet. I will bring a typewriter so I can work on my book, and the instruments so we can make music. Mike can grow our food. I'll give the kids all new hippie names and teach them to dance under the light of the moon. We'll raise chickens.

I'd miss the internet.

Doug in the morning

2010-01-31T11:39:00.005-05:00

Doug wants to join the military after high school, and we want to support him, if that is his decision. After all, Mike and I both come from military families, and we do respect and support our military for doing their jobs. His branch of choice is the Marines.

However, part of me wants to try to talk him out of it. No matter how gung-ho he is about being a Jarhead, I am not sure he can cut it in the military. With his paper-thin skin, his defensiveness, his quirkiness, and his oddballness, how is he going to survive? I've already told you how he can talk for 15 minutes about oatmeal. It's wonderful that wants to relish his food and enjoy every bite, but you know all those movies you have seen where the drill sergeant yells at everyone to get up? They all bolt from their beds, leap into their clothing, make their beds, run to chow hall, grab a tray, and wolf their food? It's all TRUE. You can't be a Doug in the morning.

Doug in the morning is a giant, soft, sleepy baby. He walks slowly. He talks slowly and in a childlike voice. He stands around rubbing his arms and hands, rubbing his eyes, yawning. He sniffs the breakfast, commenting on every detail. "Mmm, something sure smells good," he says, in his slow, Southern drawl. "Is that sauteed onions I smell? Are there peppers in those hashbrowns? Mmm. Mmm. Mmm." He's like Gomer Pyle, only not as dumb. He carefully makes his plate. He pours himself a cup of coffee and stands in the kitchen slurping it for a few minutes, staring out the window, while everyone else has gone to the table. He finally brings his plate to the table and begins to eat, slowly. If I keep repeated that word "slowly," it's because I'm trying to tell you how sloooooooooowly he's moving. Like a turtle. Like a snail. Like a three-toed sloth.

When he eats, he displays his quirks, like making repeated perforations into an egg with the tines of his fork to cut a piece of egg, rather than simply slicing it with the side of the form. I asked him why he does that, and he replied, in a soft, drowsy, 5-year-old voice, "So that the stuff from the egg doesn't squirt out the sides. This way, everything stays sealed inside." Every bite gets chewed I don't even know how many times, but I bet he knows exactly how many. He slurps his coffee. He scrapes his fork on his teeth. He takes his sweet time, and he is usually the last one at the table.

Granted, it's great that he wants to savor and enjoy his food, except we could all do without the fork scraping and coffee slurping. If he wants to maintain this slow pace for the rest of his life, awesome! He will probably live longer! However, if you know anything at all about the military, you already know this is not the make and model of a soldier. You have to learn to do things fast, think on your feet, take criticism, get the job done. I'm not saying the kid should start wolfing his food in the morning; I'm just saying I cannot picture him in the military. When I try to imagine him going to boot camp, all I can see is him getting yelled at, teased, and broken down. He will be that guy in bootcamp who gets beat up in a blanket party at night because everyone in the platoon is sick of his weirdness.

And you want to see a 16-year-old pushing 17 have a complete total meltdown? Try telling Doug you're not sure the military is right for him. I've been there. I've done that. I suggested that he go to college first, and if he still wants to join up after college, at least he will be 4 years older and an officer candidate, making more money. If he stays in ROTC throughout college, he will join up with several ranks under his belt already. He rejected this plan like a hot potato, like a mortally wounding insult. I'm talking major ass on the shoulders, lip poked out and quivering, freak out.

Sigh. I dunno, guys. Maybe the therapist will help.

One More Thing

2010-01-30T23:17:00.003-05:00

Did I mention there are dueling pageants? This pageant business is a very catty affair, folks. It's a long story, but the short version is that Beta Club is doing the official Miss Wildcat pageant, while the Band Booster club is producing their own "Miss Purple and Gold" pageant. They want in on what they think is going to be a huge money-maker, it would seem, and they wanted me, as the Beta sponsor, to cancel our pageant. Two band moms yelled at me about a pageant, folks. The whole thing is so surreal. I promise to post lots of pictures from the pageant, when it happens. Prepare to be amazed.

Pageant

2010-01-28T20:11:00.003-05:00

So, guess who is in charge of planning a pageant? Um, yeah, that would be. I am a fish out of water. I am a porkchop at a Bar Mitzva. I am so over my head. Holy shit!

Any pageant queens out there want to give me some advice?

Drama

2010-01-27T19:05:00.004-05:00

What a day! The causes that people will choose to rally behind are ridiculous sometimes. Because our students continue to violate our existing dress code policies with sporting their sagging pants, bulging cleavage, hats in the building, etc., the principal is proposing an even stricter dress code for the upcoming school year. His proposal includes khaki pants of any color, dress pants of any color, collared shirts of any color, dresses and skirts that are longer than the knee, and jeans only on Fridays. No t-shirts of any time. I don't want to post the entire proposal and bore you death, but the point is that, while not a full-on uniform, it is more restrictive than the current policy. Many of our students, mostly freshman, decided that a protest would be a good idea and came to school with holes all over their jeans. They also called the local news and told them that 400 students were planning to walk off campus in protest, which meant we had Fox 5 helicopters hovering and camera crews taping in front of the school. Ironically, many parents attended the town hall regarding the proposal, and one of their chief complaints was, "If you can't enforce the current dress code, then how do you think you can enforce this stricter uniform." In response, our administrators sent home EVERY child who violated the dress code yesterday and today. Parents were outraged, and I personally know one parent who withdrew his child today because she was sent home for a hole in her pants. We can't get the parents, students, and community to bond together to improve test scores or to celebrate our academic achievements (97% pass rate on the Georgia High School Writing Test, for example!), but tell them you're going to make them put on a pair of slacks, and it's on like a neckbone.

Rain

2010-01-24T19:33:00.005-05:00

This yucky, rainy day made me take a 3-hour nap. (Our county is under flood watch again!) It felt great to tuck in and sleep soundly, but now I am a little spacey and will probably be awake most of the night. The nap was awesome because I've had some stuff on my mind all weekend, stuff that I can't do anything about right now, but that is still nagging at me. I hate not being in charge of everything, don't you?

A Doug Moment

2010-01-23T12:08:00.003-05:00

As previously intimated, I could share many glimpses into the weirdness that is Doug. This morning, he has provided me with the perfect example. He is, evidently, fascinated by oatmeal. He got up late wanting breakfast, and since we had already eaten, I told him to see what he could find. He found some instant oatmeal, and we've been having a conversation about oatmeal for about 15 minutes. Rather, he's been having a monologue, during which I have politely tried to smile and nod. He read the directions aloud, detouring to speak briefly about how complicated cooking actually is, and how important measurements and conversions are. How interesting.

He got out a measuring cup to measure his 1/2 c. water. He stood by the microwave as his concoction cooked, commenting about the consistency: "Hmm, this doesn't look like oatmeal yet. It looks like porridge. I really don't want porridge; I want oatmeal. Wonder how long it will take until it actually looks like oatmeal?" Finally, the microwave timer goes off, and he takes out his bowl, complaining about how hot it is. (No shit, Sherlock; it was just brought to a boiling point by microwave radiation!) As he ate, he commented on the texture of the oatmeal and how oatmeal doesn't seem to go very well with coffee, yada yada.

Now, today, I am sitting here cracking up, but on a day when I am not feeling particularly patient, this weird chatter would irritate me.

Poor kid has no idea that he's gonna bore someone to death one day.

Watch This

2010-01-22T19:49:00.001-05:00

My students made this as a tribute to Antigone. Too funny!

Writing Assignment

2010-01-22T19:03:00.003-05:00

I saw this fun writing exercise on Mama's Losing It; give it a try.

Create one short (a sentence long) and one longer (100 – 150 words) Elevator Pitch describing what your blog is about. Here's my pitch!

1. Perhaps this a cliché, but I blog because it’s cheaper than therapy.

2. Blogging provides an opportunity for my occasional creative moments. I write about teaching, family, and all the things that make me go hmm. Stay tuned; I might say something brilliant!

F*CK

2010-01-21T20:01:00.002-05:00

Why does calling customer service for ANYTHING have to be so irritating and frustrating? I am on hold with Comcast for the second time today, 5th time in 3 days. When the vein in my temple has stopped throbbing, I must try to find this way to write a humorous column out of this experience. If I don't throw the laptop out of the window, that is.

Oooh, comments...

2010-01-20T19:08:00.002-05:00

Today was a good day; there is something so sweet about testing days when EVERYONE has to be quiet. They have no choice, and I enjoy a a few moments of silence. Is that bad? ;)

We are searching for a new car to replace the one with the crapped out transmission, and have some very good leads. The fiance of a friend is an auto broker; for a small finder's fee, he will do all the legwork and find the car to meet our specs. He even drives it, takes it a mechanic, and delivers it to you. We just talked to him yesterday, and he's already found 4 cars!

I am caught up with paperwork for school and for the Beta club that I sponsor, which gives me a little breathing room.

Thanks for the comments, Molly and Karen. Getting back to you soon!

We got trouble...

2010-01-19T21:47:00.003-05:00

1 wrecked but very much driveable car
1 car with broken transmission, very undriveable
3 sick people in the family
numerous money woes
blah blah blah
me and the rest of the world, right?

Sigh.

Just another day on the funny farm, but I already know that it gets better. It will be fine in the long run.

How's YOUR life?

Full

2010-01-18T22:25:00.005-05:00

Tonight, I am full of music. Rehearsals for the spring concert are underway, and we are doing the music of the Rat Pack. If you gotta be full of something, music is the way to go, right? We are already signing up for solo auditions, and I have decided to step forward and give it a shot. My song? Fever!

I do have to say, though, that it's a good thing I am in such a great mood because the director made a comment tonight that didn't sit very well with me. He encouraged people to impersonate, if they can, when they audition. He felt that would entertain the crowd and provide a bit of comedy in some cases. However, he felt the need to throw in a little disclaimer. He said he does not want women to impersonate men, nor should men impersonate women. More importantly, he said he does not want any white person to imitate Sammy Davis, Jr., "because that just wouldn't be right."

WTF?

A Doug Update

2010-01-17T10:36:00.003-05:00

It's been a long time since I blogged about my new son, Doug. If you know me at all, you probably can guess that my silence indicates that being his legal guardian has been rather challenging. Overall, he's a good kid. He's very bright, he wants to be helpful, he works hard, and at time, he has a great sense of humor.

But...(You knew there would be a but.)

He has not been raised by a set of loving parents, but has instead been passed around from family to family, many of whom did not want him; therefore, he is needy. He whines. He does anything and everything for attention. He argues. He loses his temper. He is a hypochondriac, who is constantly coming up with new symptoms and mysterious ailments. He lies. He's a bully. He has repetitive behaviors that quickly get annoying. He's a know-it-all. I could have written at least one example of quirky behavior every day on this blog, but I didn't want to change this into the Doug-bashing blog.

Now that I finally got all of the Medicaid stuff worked out, I plan to get him in therapy this year. I think some of this stuff is organic to him, rather than environmental; perhaps he has Asperger's. Despite it all, I am in this for the long haul. He's been kicked around enough.

Just keep us in your thoughts and prayers, if you will.

Two Thumbs Up

2010-01-15T19:39:00.002-05:00

Click to read a great letter to Rush Limbaugh.

Interesting List

2010-01-15T19:33:00.004-05:00

Found this while stumbling. Wish my diet would actually result in increased productivity!

Orphaned

2010-01-14T18:41:00.002-05:00

Kinda. The two oldest members of our English department staff, including our department head, have announced their retirement at the end of this year. My fear is that they have been teaching long enough to be smart enough to jump overboard like rats from a sinking ship. It's amazing how sad I feel about this announcement when I have only been working with them for 3 years, but they have both been wonderful. Our department head, in particular, has been a mentor, an advocate, a cheerleader, and a friend. The other teacher, affectionately known as "Coach," is the constant, gentle sense of humor that makes even the most challenging situations tolerable. Between the two of the them, they have over 50 years of teaching at this school alone. It really does feel like my mom and dad are leaving me. Sigh!

Better Today

2010-01-13T19:16:00.004-05:00

My classes were excellent today, I met several important deadlines, and I've stopped beating myself up about my car wreck. I'm determined not to let stress knock me flat. Breathing in, breathing out, and keeping things in perspective.

An FML Moment

2010-01-12T18:54:00.003-05:00

I got squirrel-y on ice yesterday and got hit by another car. My car has cosmetic damage, but the car that hit me is totaled. The trooper said that I wouldn't receive a citation, but I would at fault for the wreck for failure to maintain lane. Geico will probably cancel me or jack my rates up so high that I have to cancel them. However, at least no one got hurt, and my car is still drivable.

Then, this morning, the transmission went out on my daughter's car. Sharing a vehicle with her is very inconvenient, and we really don't need the extra expense, either!

A little good luck would be great right about now.

Crunched

2010-01-11T21:20:00.003-05:00

I was almost home, about 1/2 mile from my house, when I got a little squirrely on a patch of ice. I straightened up and had my car pointed in the right direction, but my tail was still a little in the other lane. Another driver came flying over the hill, plowed into my rear driver side, and spun me back around. He lost control of his vehicle and drove off the road up an embankment, broke his axle, and lost a tire. When we got out of our cars, I asked him, "I guess you couldn't stop, huh?" in reference to the ice. He replied, "Well, I DIDN'T stop." Jerk. Because of his broken axle, I suppose, he denies that he ever left the road. However, the trooper said he could clearly see that he drove off the road, but I don't think it makes much of a difference. Either way, I didn't receive a citation, but I was charged at fault in the accident. Geico would probably love to jack my rates through the ceiling, so I am sure I will be insurance shopping soon. My car doesn't look too bad; I will get some pictures tomorrow. Right now, I am kinda sore and achy, but it could have been a lot worse. Sigh!

Apron, anyone?

2010-01-10T20:28:00.003-05:00

I received this from my father-in-law today and loved it enough to share it.

Remember making an apron in Home Ec? I don't think our kids know what an apron is. The principal use of Grandma's apron was to protect the dress underneath because she only had a few; it was easier to wash aprons than dresses and they used less material, but along with that, it served as a potholder for removing hot pans from the oven.

It was wonderful for drying children's tears, and on occasion was even used for cleaning out dirty ears.

From the chicken coop, the apron was used for carrying eggs, fussy chicks, and sometimes half-hatched eggs to be finished in the warming oven.

When company came, those aprons were ideal hiding places for shy kids, and when the weather was coldg, Grandma wrapped it around her arms.

Those big old aprons wiped many a perspiring brow, bent over the hot wood stove.

Chips and kindling wood were brought into the kitchen in that apron.

From the garden, it carried all sorts of vegetables. After the peas had been shelled, it carried out the hulls.

In the fall, the apron was used to bring in apples that had fallen from the trees.

When unexpected company drove up the road, it was surprising how much furniture that old apron could dust in a matter of seconds.

When dinner was ready, Grandma walked out onto the porch, waved her apron, and the menfolks knew it was time to come in from the fields to dinner.

It will be a long time before someone invents something that will replace that 'old-time apron' that served so many purposes.

Remember: Grandma used to set her hot baked apple pies on the window sill to cool.

Her granddaughters set theirs on the window sill to thaw, and they would go crazy now trying to figure out how many germs were on that apron.

Lazy Today

2010-01-10T11:39:00.002-05:00

Yesterday, there was a monster truck rally at the Georgia Dome in Atlanta. Guess who worked a concession stand for 8 hours at said truck rally? That would be me, serving up nachos, baking pretzels, cleaning, working the pass, more cleaning, standing on concrete for 8 hours, etc. These weren't just any nachos, either. For some reason, the rednecks want "ultimate nachos," which include all the usual fixings you would associate with nachos, along with 4 ounces of pork barbecue. Eww! My feet and back are killing me, and I'm so glad that I do not work in food service. Why in the world did I agree to this torture? This was a band fundraiser; we get to keep about 12% of our sales, plus my work places a $50 credit in my son's band account for next year. I worked my tail off for that fiddy!

January Snow

2010-01-08T15:22:00.002-05:00

Downtown Villa Rica, GA.

Facebook

2010-01-08T08:48:00.000-05:00

Interesting application.

Irony

2010-01-07T22:28:00.001-05:00

When I am thinking of quitting teaching high school for good, I have three great days in a row. Guess I need to get sick of it more often.

A Giggle

2010-01-06T19:29:00.002-05:00

Q: Why do mermaids wear seashells?
A: The A shells are too small and the D shells are too big!

And on another note, what a happy day. Most of my students actually seemed to enjoyed discussing the poetry of Emily Dickinson today. It's a post-Christmas miracle. As I shared some information about her biography, one student who never asks any questions seemed to be especially tuned in. As soon as I finished speaking, she blurted out, "Well, let's read one of her poems!" Tomorrow could be entirely different, but today was great.

Pomp and Circumstance

2010-01-05T21:33:00.003-05:00

I graduated today. After 5 years, I am walking away from therapy, a whole, healthy person. All the old closets have been emptied out, and my toolbox is full of the tools I need to survive. There is not a single problem in my life that I can't deal with on my own. My therapist and I shared a few little tears, but she is pleased with and supportive of my decision to stop. I know the door is open if I ever need her, but at this point, I would rather she remains in my life as a friend, not as my therapist. If you've never had experience with therapy, this may not make sense -- and even if you have, this may not be particularly interesting to you haha -- but I feel as though I have finally crossed the finished line in the world's longest marathon. There were times I thought I would never get there, but I have been catching glimpses of the finish line for at least the past year. Triumph!

Not a good day

2010-01-04T19:54:00.002-05:00

Today was both sad and stressful. Stressful because my second period Communication Skills class has mysteriously been changed to an 11th grade literature class, which I have never taught before. There were a lot of other reasons for stress today too, but mostly, just meh. Long day; hoping for a good night's sleep to put me in a better mood to face those children tomorrow.

Work 2

2010-01-03T18:12:00.004-05:00

Someone asked me, "Well why don't you just quit that job?" In this economy, who can afford to quit ANY job, much less a job that gives you approximately 12 weeks off per year? Besides I am under contract for the next 5 months. However, here are my plans for this year:

1. Take the GACE acquire add-on certification in (an)other area(s). I'm thinking social studies and possibly, special ed.
2. Start job-hunting in earnest for next year and move down to 4th or 5th grade, if I can find a position. All the same benefits and pay without necessarily having drug dealers and other criminals in my classroom.
3. Get back in graduate school so that one day, I can teach on the college level when I become completely disenchanted with public school.

At the age of 43, I know I cannot do what I am currently doing for much longer. I don't have the patience or the drive or whatever it takes to do this. Can I confess right here and now that I loathe grading essays, or at least, what my student attempt to pass off as essays? I like young people, for the most part, but it's a lot of work. My certification is for 4th grade -- 12th grade, and I'm thinking more and more that I would like to give elementary school a shot. If I don't love it, then I will have tried it all: middle school, high school, and elementary school.

I need to find my niche!

Work

2010-01-02T18:31:00.003-05:00

Work resumes in earnest on Tuesday; the sword of Damocles is hanging right over my head. I wish I could be one of those people who is eager to go back to work, but I am not. My current job is not one to love. Oh, I enjoy my banter with my colleagues, and many of the kids are perfectly likable kids. However, there is simply too much work to be done and not enough time to do it. I feel like I am always behind, which results in endless stress. The administration doesn't provide the level of support that I would like. If I have to work -- and no millions seem to be forthcoming -- then I would like for work to be satisfying. Is that too much to ask??

2010

2010-01-01T23:01:00.002-05:00

The old superstition says that whatever you do on New Year's Day, you will be doing all year. Today, I slept soundly until past 9:30. Padded down to the kitchen in my cozy slippers only to find that Mike had already made coffee for me. Ate a delicious S'mores Poptart like I was a kid and loved it. Cooked up an amazing dinner for my family and my daughter's new boyfriend, whom I think is a keeper. Did the dishes. Drank wine. Played guitar and sang for my family. Laughed a lot. Ate pie. Drank more coffee. Bearing gifts, went to visit a dear friend and laughed some more. Went to the gym and worked up a sweat. Came home and sat by the fire. And now I have blogged. Life feels great right now, and I want that to last all year. Happy New Year, if anyone out there is still reading my neglected blog. :D

The Year in Review

2009-12-31T14:42:00.002-05:00

Take some time and reflect,if you want.

1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?
* went to a Celine Dion concert
* went to a state Beta convention with oh, 30+ teenagers.
* did a Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure
* attended a high school prom
* watched one of my children graduate high school; two more to go.
* taught summer school
* took up weightlifting
* sang a Darlings song to a dear sweet lady, upon the occasion of her retirement
* took a long vacation with just one of my children; will have to rotate and make that a regular thing!
* became legal guardian to a teenager.
* played a Who and a Ghost ::grin::
* roasted a duck

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
My 2009 resolution was to be optimistic, which I was able to accomplish most of the time. I believe when you stop self-improving, you die, so yes, there will be more growth and change this year.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Amanda Newman, the daughter of my friend mentioned in #4, whom I have known since she was growing in her mom's belly, gave birth to a son.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Cary Newman (December 30, 1961 - January 4, 2009). We met him in 1989, and he and his family were a big part of our lives for 20 years.

5. What countries did you visit?
This was not a year for traveling outside the country, for me. I did lots of traveling, though!

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
Honestly, I would like to have more satisfaction in my job. I've learned to take care of myself, indulge my passions, make time for me, etc., so the personal life is good. I'm not so satisfied with the job, however. :(

7. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
My daughter Chelsea's graduation in May, vacation with my son Michael in July, applying for legal guardianship of Doug in August.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I don't know if this is an achievement, but taking in Doug and trying to make a home for him is definitely life-changing, for all of us. When I look back a couple of years from now, I want this to be an accomplishment and a job well-done.

9. What was your biggest failure?
There are no failures when you are living life optimistically. That might sound flippant, but it's been a successful year in a lot of ways.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
If I can't remember, it must not have been anything major.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
A health club membership. Oh, and a less expensive cellular plan.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Publicly? Pilot "Sully" Sullenberger became a hero when he successfully ditched US Airways Flight 1549 in the Hudson River on January 15, 2009. His actions saved the lives of all 155 people on board. Amazing!

Personally, I am celebrating the growth of my daughter's maturity and responsibility. Our relationship is much closer than in was a year ago, and she's becoming a young woman with her own mind, a characteristic I admire.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Let's just say that when people can't peacefully disagree, without personal attack, I am dismayed. It is possible to have rational discussions about important issues, without getting nasty.

14. Where did most of your money go?
On my kids' backs, in their wallets, in their tummies, toward their healthcare, etc. Eh, seriously, I guess most of it goes to bills.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Visiting my high school BFF in TX.
My daughter completing high school.
Seeing my younger brother for the first time since he moved to Dallas, TX.
Developing muscle definition.

16. What song will always remind you of 2009?
"I'm On A Boat" by The Lonely Island, featuring T-Pain.
"I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day" as performed by the Carrollton Community Chorus.
Talk about your polar opposites!

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer?
happier, thinner, richer

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Sang to my husband.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Graded mind-numbingly boring essays (Sorry, dear students!)

20. How did you spend Christmas?
We visited with Mike's family the week before Christmas and had a great time there. Doug bonded most with Poppy, who bestowed him with a classic fedora, that now seems permanently attached to his head. We made good memories. Then we spent the actual Christmas Eve and Day together at home. Bob visited for the first time in a year -- wow! Finally, we traveled to SC and spent time with my mom, sister, brother, grandma, uncle, etc. We did as much of the familly circuit as we could!

21. Did you fall in love in 2009?
I remained in love, which is just as grand.

22. How many one-night stands?
Zero!

23. What was your favorite TV program?
Hell's Kitchen

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Hate is a waste of a verb. I may not like some people, but I don't hate anyone.

25. What was the best book you read?
The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society made me want to write letters with my friends. :)

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Like much of the rest of the world, I am enthralled by Susan Boyle.

27. What did you want and get?
If we are going to be materialistic, new shelves for kitchen storage, canning supplies, Calphalon, new stemware, a freezer. Sensing a theme? Otherwise, I got a whole lot of joy from hobbies, traveling, spending time with friends and family, and self-improvement.

28. What did you want and not get?
A million dollars? Didn't get as much job satisfaction as I think I need. My husband, and now my daughter, are both still smoking. This does not make me happy. Um, and I still want a new CD player for my car, k?

29. What was your favorite film of this year?
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, and largely because I had such great company for the movie!

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 43 and made my sister laugh about how much my out of state family sucks for ignoring my birthday. Saw Liz Melendez for my birthday, too.

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Again, if I am required to work, I would like to enjoy it more. Must work on that.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
Wear what's clean.

33. What kept you sane?
Finding ways to laugh. At everything. Myself. My students. My colleagues. My family. My friends.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you admire the most?
Capt. Sully, as mentioned above.

35. What political issue stirred you the most?
Health care reform. No Child Left Behind. Government waste spending. Same-sex marriage.

36. Who did you miss?
See #4. I also miss seeing Alicia Smith.

37. Who was the best new person you met?
Cannot narrow it down to just one, because I met a ton of new people through community theater this year. The cast of 'Tis the Season was some 50-strong, so I'm sure it was literally tons. Jake, Nick, and John definitely provided hours of entertainment before, during, and after rehearsals.

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009.
Believe.

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
"There is a time for love and laughter
The days will pass like summer storms
The winter wind will follow after
But there is love, and love is warm."

40. Will you repost this again next year?
Absolutely; will you?

Good for What Ails You

2009-12-20T18:47:00.001-05:00

Cheesy Corn Chowder

Sauteé 1 cup chopped celery, 1 cup chopped onion, and 1 cup chopped carrots in 2 tablespoon butter until softened. Transfer vegetable mixture to warm crock-pot. Add 2 (14.5 ounce) cans vegetable stock and cook on high until liquid comes to a boil. Layer in 1 package frozen Ore-Ida Steam and Mash potatoes, 1 (12 ounce) pack frozen sweet corn, and 1 (4 ounce) can diced green chiles. Cook until potatoes and corn are done. About 5-10 minutes before serving, add 1 cup shredded Mexican-style processed cheese food and stir until melted. Dissolve 1 (2.5 ounce) package country style gravy mix into 1 cup of milk, and add to the chowder mix. Serve hot with crusty bread and a green salad.

Funny as Hell

2009-11-01T15:54:00.002-05:00

This made me laugh out loud.

Almost Funny

2009-09-23T19:11:00.002-04:00

This would be funnier if our county wasn't forcing us to go to school when there is no clean water, the clean-up isn't finished, and 40 roads are still blocked.

My Kids

2009-09-22T22:08:00.004-04:00

Chelsea, Michael, and Doug

Michael and Doug

And btw, this is my classroom, if you ever wondered what it looked like. We were in a circle that day for the Native American storyteller who visited to share origin myths. :)

That's Right

2009-09-13T10:30:00.002-04:00

That's right; I haven't blogged in a month, which is how long we've been in school. Care to hazard a guess as to what's keeping me so busy? If you guessed school, you get the cardboard cookie. School is kicking my butt, and honestly, it feels like the earliest in the school year that I have ever been so stressed. I'm teaching 6 classes, with 3 different preps: American Lit., Creative Writing, and Communication Skills. Students only have 4 minutes to get to class now, but there is construction going on, so we're supposed to be "a little lenient." Consequently, students are late to class, every day. Our principal has suddenly become the invisible man, hiding out in his office all the time. As mentioned above, there is construction, which, in the end will result in a beautiful two story building replacing the antiquated 100 hall, but in the meantime, is annoying, loud, and ugly. The lunch schedule is completely screwy this year because we have 7 periods now instead of 6. Our football team is on a major losing streak this year. Everyone is sick, so I've already been sick twice this year. Teachers have received a pay cut, along with furlough days, so we're doing more with less again. My classroom size is almost unmanageable. My students, by and large, are lazy.

I try not to complain this much, but it feels like if I don't get it all out, I will explode. The current plan is to start grad school again ASAP and see if I can make the transfer to teaching college (although you know I must be a masochist because I will probably stick to teaching high school, anyway).

I think I'm going to go play in the garden for a while. Sigh!

It's Here

2009-08-10T21:52:00.002-04:00

School has begun. It's all good, but man, I'm exhausted. Feet hurt. Tired!! I'm teaching 6 classes -- 4 American Lit, one remedial writing, one creative writing. My classes range in size from 15 to 34. We have over 1700 students now, and we've finally gotten SPLOST to build another building full of classrooms. That's cool, but we desperately need a new cafeteria. I guess I am just happy I still have a job, when so many slots have been cut. I need to write a real post soon!

Feeling Furtive

2009-08-02T15:13:00.002-04:00

Maybe someone will get this, but I wish you could see me using the food stamps debit card I received to help pay for groceries. This is money the Dept of Family and Children Services is giving me to help with the expense of having an extra child in the house, but it makes me feel guilty whenever I use it. I guess it's from a lifetime of working hard for my money. This idea of free money that I didn't earn is all new to me!

How's It Going?

2009-07-26T16:11:00.008-04:00

That seems to be among the FAQ, with regard to our new ward, Doug. It's going very well, actually. He and my son are currently sharing a room; so far, they are getting along just fine. They have always been friends, and they are about 11 months apart in age, with Doug being the older of the two. He has a very easygoing personality, perhaps from all the changes he has already endured. He's definitely learned to adapt. He does suffer from mood swings, not surprisingly. His emotional seems to range from very happy to extremely quiet, with no outward signs of anger or depression, necessarily. He told me that he thinks he is bipolar, from what he knows about the disorder; this is certainly possible. At the very least, he must suffer from a certain amount of depression. It's only natural, and it's one of the matters I want to address, as soon as I can locate a counselor who accepts his Medicaid card.

We have discovered that we will need to watch out for his "Mr. Fix-it" quirk; things that are broken or aren't working properly trouble him, and he tends to take things apart to see if he can fix them. He likes to keep busy, so I've taken to assigning him projects. This week, he and I will be painting the boys' room and getting it a little more organized for all of their combined stuff. Unlike my son, he isn't a picky eater, thank God. He will pretty much eat whatever I put in front of him. Chelsea, who is now 18 and about to move on campus anyway, isn't home often enough for any problems to have arisen. Either way, she says she thinks what we're doing is great, and she has always thought Doug was a nice kid. He hasn't spent a whole lot of time with my husband yet, although Mike has certainly made himself available. He hasn't had a strong male figure in his life, and still idolizes his natural father to some extent, despite his dad's addiction problems and illegal activities. In time, I hope the two of them -- Mike and Doug -- will bond because I definitely think Doug needs a better role model.

As for me, everything has been good. I am already getting over feeling like I need to "entertain my guest," if that makes sense. I'm still trying to figure out the food stamps debit card, having had no experience with that kind of thing. I think the current card has been disabled, because the PIN that Doug's aunt gave me does not work. I will put in a call to the local office tomorrow and try to get some answers about that and a few other nitty-gritty details. We have one more week before our petition for guardianship is officially approved, so we might not be able to get his aid stuff coming until that date, which is fine. We're not in dire straits, but of course, every little bit helps.

Doug loves school and is looking forward to the start of this year on August 7. He will be a sophomore, and his grades have been excellent so far. He would like to try running track. His aunt never let him participate in any extracurricular activities because of the time commitment. She didn't want to be bothered with having to give him rides, paying for anything outside of the basics, etc. However, between working there, sponsoring Beta Club, and having a son in band, I'm pretty sure I will practically be living at VR anyway, so getting him to track practice shouldn't be a problem at all.

All in all, I think we're going to be OK.

Things are looking up for this young man.

"Redheaded Stepchild"

2009-07-15T12:28:00.008-04:00

Today, in about 30 minutes, we're going to probate court to sign the successor guardianship papers and get the ball rolling to move "the red-head" into our house. :)

After I called the Department of Family and Children Services, they made a home visit to investigate and found that everything was OK there. His aunt did tell them that she wants to resign as his guardian and appoint me as the successor guardian; they were pleased to hear that. It's amazingly easy (eerily easy) to take guardianship of a teenager, it would seem. As the folks at DFCS have assured me, "no one wants teenagers."

It seems that this amazing child is going to be ours. You would not believe how smart, compassionate, and well-adjusted he is, all things considered. Did I mention he was born in a meth lab? As all of this unfolds, I will tell you more about him and what he's gone through.

I no longer want to run his aunt over with my truck. Now, I'm just grateful that she was able to honestly admit her limitations and put this child in a better situation. She's been very depressed lately and says that she feels like a failure; as I have told her, if she pulled herself together long enough to do what was best for the kiddo, then how can she be a failure?

And now, the phone is ringing and it's time to go. More to follow!
* * *
Now that this is actually happening, his aunt was very teary today. She says she feels like a failure, she let him down, etc. She was close to having a full-blown anxiety attack, but as I told her, if she honestly searched her soul and decided that she wasn't capable of taking care of him, then she's not letting him down -- she's doing the best thing for him. We sat together at her table and filled out the paperwork, where she was shaking the entire time. We went to the court together, they checked over all the paperwork, and I swore under oath to do what was right for the child. Officially, he's mine temporarily. The parents have two weeks to come forward and object, but that seems very unlikely; after two weeks, if there are no objections, he's mine until he turns 18. Technically, he could move in right now. She wanted to take him to get a haircut and get his things together, but we will make the move soon. Surreal, how easy it was to make this happen.

Vacations

2009-07-12T17:25:00.002-04:00

After summer school finished on June 26, I've spent the last couple of weeks traveling with my son. We left out Dad and sis because they both had other obligations and couldn't go on the road. Too bad, because they missed out!

First we went to SC to see Grandma and other family and make a trip to Myrtle Beach, then we went to Texas to see my friend Cupcake and my younger brother Roger. What a whirlwind couple of trips these were! We loved camping out at the beach in SC and enjoyed all of Karen's hospitality in TX. It was also great seeing my brother, who started his life over when he quit drinking and made his home in Dallas. I think Michael's favorite part was visiting the Bass Pro Shop in Garland. Haha! My favorite part was watching Karen at work photographing a sweet little baby. And the wine. ;)

We're tired, but I'm so grateful that I had not only these great visits, but the bonding time with my son. He and I actually travel very well together; my daughter is too high maintenance!

Great Recipe

2009-07-07T16:29:00.003-04:00

Posted this before, but it was so delicious today that I figured I would post it again for any new folks (Donnell):D

Garbanzo Salad

1 15-ounce can garbanzo beans, drained (about 1½ cups)(1 can is about 3 servings)
¾ cup grape tomatoes, halved
2-3 quarters marinated artichoke hearts, chopped fine
¾ cup sliced green and black olives
¼ cup finely chopped green onions
½ cup crumbled feta cheese
1 tablespoon finely chopped parsley
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 tablespoon balsamic vinegar
Salt
Pepper
Grated Parmesan (optional)

In a medium bowl, place garbanzos, tomatoes, artichoke hearts, olives, onions, feta, and parsley. In a small bowl whisk together olive oil, vinegar, salt and pepper and pour mixture over salad, tossing gently to coat. Cover and refrigerate until chilled. Serve with a garnish of grated Parmesan cheese, if desired.

Remember -- everything to taste, throw in what you like! I have added chopped spinach, sliced mushrooms, chopped cucumber, whatever might be in season. Try different cheeses, flavored oils or vinegars. Very flexible recipe!

The Child's Best Interest

2009-06-22T09:13:00.005-04:00

My son's 15-year-old friend is being dumped by his legal guardian.

This kid has bounced around behind his parents most of his life, until his aunt became his guardian three years ago, when neither of his parents were there to take care of him. Dad is in jail and Mom abandoned him for her next high. Surprisingly, after all he has been through, this is a great kid. Straight A's in school, polite, funny.

After three years, suddenly his aunt now says she can no longer tolerate him living there because he reminds her of her sister, whom she hates with a passion. She resents having to raise her sister's child for her. She tells him on a daily basis that she hates him and he's worthless, but then says, "It's not your fault; it's just that you remind me of her." She has given him 7 days to find a place to stay or else she will sign him over to the Department of Family and Children Services.

I offered to let him stay here, for however long it takes, until she could get herself together. She said that she knows she's not emotionally stable. She also said that living someone else temporarily isn't the answer; she needs a permanent place for him to stay. I told her I would become a foster parent legally through the court system, if that's what it takes. She said that I live too close, and she doesn't want him that close to her.

Now I just want to run over her with my truck.

What does the uncle say? "Over the years of being married to her, I've learned to just stay out of her way. I think she's crazy, but then again, her whole family was crazy."

And they haven't answered the phone, nor have we seen them, in three days. I am going to call DFCS but I don't know what they will tell me; I have this sneaking suspicion that she couldn't wait out the 7 days.

Gah, crazy people. I really want to run over her with my truck.

Quickie Update

2009-06-13T22:40:00.001-04:00

Sorry I haven’t updated in a while. While I should be enjoying my summer off, I am teaching summer school – 9th grade lit. Someone stop me if I ever think about doing this again. Thank God they are paying me is all I can say. I’ve also been cleaning/organizing the basement and working in the garden a lot. Eight more days, and then I’m off until the end of July. Hope everyone is doing well!

Rainy Thursday

2009-06-04T09:08:00.002-04:00

It's raining on my garden, and there's coffee in my cup. Today is the last day of school for the week, because we don't have school on Fridays. The kids are still asleep, and the house is quiet. Don't you love it when things are going the way they should?

Weed

2009-06-01T09:33:00.002-04:00

No, not that weed.

What is about weeding the garden that seems to be the perfect exercise for the butt muscles? I assume I am chiseling out one sweet ass from the amount of soreness I have. Mike and went down all of the rows yesterday, me with my Garden Claw and him with the hoe, and we loosened soil and pulled weeds and grass for about an hour. Today, my butt is so sore I can barely walk. What the crap?

The garden looks great, though. Tomato plants are now over a foot tall. In addition to the two varieties of tomato, there are beans, peas, squash, cantaloupe, zucchini, peppers, cucumbers, lettuce, spinach, and carrots growing as we speak. I still need to get more herbs going in the little bed close to the house, but June is busting out all over, here.

The critters haven't taken over yet. We did see deer tracks at the edge of the garden, but I'm pretty sure Dixie barked and scared it away. The tracks went into one corner and right back out. Good dog! Mike saw a huge jackrabbit skirting the corner of the property yesterday, but between the fat cat and our other dog, he didn't make it to the garden.

My friend Mary is going to loan me a couple of goats this summer to eat up kudzu; can't wait to see what the neighbors think of goats staked out in the yard. "Goats? No, those are dogs! Really! This one is Rover, and this one is Spot. Seriously!" Hehehe! Now, if I could just get those chickens that I want...

It's starting to feel like a regular farm here in the suburbs.

The Rest of the Story

2009-05-29T13:33:00.003-04:00

I withheld my pisstivity long enough to allow myself the other emotions associated with graduation, but here's the rest of the story: three days before graduation, Chelsea wrecked my car. She was driving my car because she has torn up the transmission on her own car; I guess my car needed to be broken, too. Thank God, though, that she WAS in my car because she hit the side of an 18-wheeler. Had she been in her own car, it would have gone under the 18-wheeler, and I don't even want to think about that. She's OK, despite a little lingering soreness and stiffness. I'm pretty sure she was texting while driving or otherwise distracted because an 18-wheeler changing lanes is kinda hard to miss. She was charged with failure to yield -- not good.

I am thanking God that she's fine, and the car is being fixed. In fact, both cars are being fixed. In the meantime, however, she is making me want to stick my finger in my eye and swirl it around in frustration. Every time I *think* we're starting to mature and get ready for adulthood, she starts making me nuts again. What's going on, you ask?

1. We found out she stole some checks from the back of the checkbook and used them. Small amounts, but it's the idea that she would steal from us at all that pisses me off. Her excuse: "I didn't think you would find out." I'm beyond horrified and I've gone through the entire range of emotions about this. There is nothing you can say that I haven't already thought. Primarily, we are fixing her car and allowing her to keep her graduation money so that she is one step closer to moving out of our house. We must cut the ties and force her to grow up, if she's ever going to be someone that anyone would trust.

2. However, she keeps waffling on idea of living on campus. She has excuses for all the reasons she thinks it would be better for her to live at home and commute; she claims she will make better grades if she lives at home, blah blah. How does she know, having never done this before? We decided a long time ago she needs to live on campus and get the full college experience, not to mention, give us a little break from all of the attention-consumption that is Chelsea. We also feel like it's time our son got some of the attention; he's starting high school in the fall, playing in the marching band, and needs to be the star for a while. She is trying to manipulate her DADDY into talking the mean mom into letting her stay at home. She even crawled in our bed last night when we were getting ready for bed and said, "Wow, this is just like when I was little girl, Daddy," trying to be cute.

3. She doesn't want to get a job right now; she thinks she should wait until after her birthday in July to look for a job. She's picky about jobs, refusing to even apply at a fast food restaurant or grocery store and believes if she waits until she is 18, she will automatically get a better job. We don't care where she works. We want her to get a job NOW (yesterday) for several reasons. She needs the money, obviously, and we need to spend less on her. When she goes to court about the wreck mentioned above, we have been advised that the judge may recommend suspension of her license, based on the fact that she was at fault and already had a speeding ticket on her record. However, with a job, and starting college in the fall, the judge may go easy on her. Hell, I am working a summer job myself just to make ends meet; the least she can do is get a damn job.

4. She wants to spend her graduation money on a CD player and sound system for her car. I think another distraction in the car is the last thing she needs. She argues, "Well it's my money, right?" I advised her she might need that money when school starts for books or fees. When she learned that we might make her pay for some small fraction of the cost of college, she had a little hissy fit and said that maybe she won't start school until January, if she's expected to pay anything. "I will need to work a while to get some money together if y'all are going to make me pay for anything," she declared petulantly. I worked 3 fucking jobs while I was in college, just saying, and if she had actually applied herself the first two years of high school, she might have qualified for more scholarship money.

5. She just now asked me, "If my car is ready today, can I go out tonight?"

OMG she needs to move out. I love this kid as much as I love breathing, but I feel like I am giving birth to her all over again. Please tell me; is it always like this? Did any of you treat your parents this way? I sure as hell didn't because I was too afraid of the consequences. I've tried not to be the psycho asshole parents like my mom, and my dad too in some ways, but all this biting my tongue is making me insane. I feel like I am going to blow apart in a million pieces, and when I do, it's going to be very bad for her. Mike seems to be on the same page with me about everything, although not quite as resolved about her moving out, but none of this seems to be stressing him out like it is me.

Argggghh! Maybe I suck at this parenting thing.

Milestones

2009-05-25T10:09:00.003-04:00

Milestones.

The first smile.
The first tooth.
The first words.
The first steps.
The first boo-boo.
The first day of school.

And before you know it, that part of life is over, and your baby is graduating. Oh, there will be other firsts, but somehow, it won't be the same.

As if graduation wasn't emotional enough, our principal decided that teachers with graduating children should give the diplomas to their children. As instructed, I waited until Chelsea was in the line, close to the stairs, getting ready to cross the stage. I slipped behind the principal, and the counselor handed me Chelsea's diploma. As she stepped up on the stage, she flashed me a giant smile. I was supposed to hand her the diploma and shake her hand, but, moved by the moment, I grabbed her and hugged her instead. A chorus of aww's went up. I whispered, "I'm proud of you," and she said, "I love you too, Mom." I pressed her diploma into her hand, and let her make her way across the stage, shaking hands with all of the officials. When she stepped off the stage, the spell was broken and I headed back to my seat, feeling empty and full at the same time.

Hold fast, Chelsea.

What's Growing?

2009-05-17T10:50:00.003-04:00

Here's what's getting ready to burst out of the ground: Roma tomatoes,bell peppers, peas, beans, squash, lettuce, carrots, and cucumbers. Things will get exciting soon, so stick around.

It's been a while since I updated; we're very caught up in the countdown to graduation: 5 days! I have a long emotional post writing itself in my head right now. Check back in a week, if not sooner. Haha.

The Prom That Never Was

2009-05-02T08:35:00.002-04:00

I look pissy because Chelsea is acting like Promzilla during this photo shoot. Also, whoever took this picture made me look like Venus di Milo.

She looks beautiful, doesn't she?

Good thing we took lots of pictures before the prom. Long story short -- 3 girls on the limo-bus brought alcohol and got caught with it. Because their actions voided the contract, he left the entire busload of 28 students at a restaurant. He refused to drive them any further. Kids called parents or a friend to pick them up, but mine ended up so pissed off, she opted not to even go to the prom. Some $500 down the drain (dress, accessories, tanning, prom tickets, limo-bus, etc.) Sigh.

It Feels Weird

2009-04-25T09:42:00.004-04:00

Tonight, I am doing something for the first time, something I have never done before. I am going to the prom. :::thud:::

It's also something I never thought I wanted to do, but when you work at a high school and your daughter is a senior, you pretty much have no choice. No, I'm not wearing a prom dress, but I do plan on looking cute. I will upload pix tomorrow.

Prom '09...woohoo?

10 Most Offensive Tea Party Signs (PHOTOS)

2009-04-19T10:49:00.002-04:00

More embarrassing Americans:

10 Most Offensive Tea Party Signs (PHOTOS)

Posted using ShareThis

"Wishing on Every Star"

2009-04-10T20:55:00.006-04:00

Do not read this post from Tanis the Redneck Mommy's place without a box of Kleenex handy, but do read it.

Whatever You Do

2009-04-03T19:38:00.007-04:00

Do not -- EVER -- get one of those shiatsu massages when you are out shopping. Well, if you like being pummeled in public while being subjected to the "junk press" from your overly-enthusiastic masseuse, go ahead. It's your $20.

Let me start by saying that I am a fan of massage, but a good massage shouldn't hurt, in my opinion. A nice, relaxing massage is a splurge I can justify. Today, with my post-exercise soreness, when I was invited to have a massage ("You lady massage, come you lady sit here") I eagerly gave in to temptation. I agreed to the "ten minute -- 12 dahrah" deal. She went back to pimping massages after she handed me off to the very strong-looking man who evidently spoke little English.

After he made sure that I was seated properly, he bowed, oiled up his fingers, and went to work tenderly on my neck. At first, this was heavenly. As his hands glided up and down the sides of my neck, working worked gently at the base of my skull, I murmured, "Let's do 20 minutes, OK?" He said, "OK, 20 minute -- 22 dahrah." Fine, fine. Ah. My eyes closed and I began to drift into bliss.

Precisely at this moment, the massage took a sudden turn south. He stuck his hands down the back of my t-shirt and began to rub my shoulders. His knot-seeking digits found my sore spots and went to work. Apparently, knots are evil and must be eradicated at all cost. He dug in, until I moaned and tapped out on the hand-rest to indicate the intensity of the pain. He said, "Too hah?" "Yes, too hard," I pleaded. He said, "Not too hah; good for you," and went back to work with only marginally less violence. Honestly, there were moments of brilliance, when the pain subsided, and the kneading was quite pleasant. These moments were skillfully designed to keep me in the chair. Unfortunately, they never lasted long enough for they were abruptly ended by fingers drilling my bones for marrow.

The discomfort didn't stop at pain, mind you. Included in his repertoire was his practice of pulling and smoothing my shirt down in the back. While perhaps I should be grateful that he was protecting my modesty, mostly I just felt like he was getting awfully familiar with my buttcrack. Also, he kept doing this maneuver that involved grabbing my hips and shaking my body back and forth, then pounding my rump, hips and thighs with his fists, creating an unpleasant jiggle that left me whimpering, "Why?"

Worst of all...he gave me...the junk press. Wait. Now, the first time it happened, he was standing by my side, giving me percussion down my spine, when I became aware that his Monty was touching my elbow. I tucked my arm in a little closer to my side, telling myself that it was completely unintentional. A few minutes later, when he was on the other side of my body, the same thing happened to my other elbow. I thought to myself, "WTF? Is this some new form of acupressure?" But once again, I tucked my arm in close, convincing myself that perhaps I was too sprawled out.

Before the ~~masochistic episode~~ massage ended, however, I could no longer believe the molestation was accidental. As he finished his last barrage on my now-limp muscles, he positioned himself directly behind me with his hands on my shoulders. Yep, he gave me the full-on junk press in the small of my back, albeit for a millisecond. He stepped back, slapped my back, and said, "You good now." I think it was better for him than for me.

You may be wondering why I didn't kick him in the steamed dumplings or at the very least, refuse to pay for his services. When I straightened myself up and rose from the chair, I realized that every ache and twinge had vanished and had been replaced by a warm, electric sensation. I felt energized. Will I go back for more? Absolutely not, and I would discourage you from trying it. Begrudgingly, though, I have to admit that this bizarre treatment paid off in the end. Erm, so to speak.

As I handed him his money, he bowed humbly and said, "Thank you come to Lucky Good Hand." Snort. Don't go there. Really. Don't go there.

Factoid

2009-04-02T19:01:00.004-04:00

When you do exercises correctly, the routine is so much more effective. I'm sore as hell from the same routine that I've been OK with, only this time, I did it paying attention to form, breathing, and deliberate movements. Guess that shows my body was being lazy. I'm glad I talked to a trainer and received instructions. Much better...I think. No pain, no gain?

That Darn Cat

2009-04-01T10:39:00.003-04:00

I am loathing my cat at the moment. Background: this is primarily an outdoor cat, and he is fed outside on the porch railing so the dog won't eat his food. He is a finicky eater, and just when you think you've found the food he likes, he changes on you.

This morning, he was meowing at the front door, so I let him in. Then, he meows at the cabinet where we keep the food. I grab a cup of food and pour it in his bowl outside, and he jumps up on the railing and proceeds to om nom nom. I close the door and head back to the computer, pausing long enough to pour another cup of coffee in the kitchen. I take the first sip and, "Meow." Now he's at the back door, evidently dissatisfied with his breakfast. After a few meows, I let him in the back door. Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. He's back at the cabinet, looking for different food. This is all the food I have kitty. He goes to the front door. Meow. Meow. Meow. I open the door, and he hops up on the railing and tackles his food begrudgingly, as if to say, "Fine, I will eat it if I must." Five minutes later, he's meowing at the back door. I ignore him. Go chase a mouse, butthole. A few minutes later, he's back on the front porch, clawing at the window screen next to the computer, looking at me and meowing with his mouth wide open. I finally give up, let him in, and he goes straight to the kitchen cabinet again. Meow. Meow. Meow.

He owns me, and he knows it.

Weather

2009-03-31T11:18:00.006-04:00

It's spring break, and I'm skipping my appointment with the headologist this week. Here's a weather report from inside my head, if you're interested. I feel good, really good. I'm enjoying being away from work. Yesterday, I spent the afternoon in the sun, sitting by the lake, chasing tennis balls, and walking on the track. I sang my lungs out at rehearsal last night, had a delicious dinner with two glasses of my favorite red, and made love to my husband. Today, it's gray and rainy AGAIN, but I slept until 10 and I have no worries at the moment. I wish I could feel this good all the time, but I have to say, overall, I've had more ups than downs for a while.

***Update***
My daughter is awake now, pestering me about something, and threatening my serenity. This is how it goes sometimes.
:::thinking Zen thoughts:::

Dance, Dance, Dance

2009-03-28T10:18:00.002-04:00

Remembered this today; sad that it's still true for many women.

Do your ABCs

2009-03-26T20:05:00.003-04:00

Today's writing prompt: Write the ABCs of your favorite topic, sport, hobby, whatever floats your boat. One kid wrote the ABCs of sex. There's never a dull moment.

I would probably do the ABCs of cooking, if I had to do this assignment, not that it's terribly original! One of my students is working on an ABCs of phobias, which I think is pretty cool.

What would your ABC's be?

***
On another topic, I joined a gym today. I've wanted to do it for a while but had to wait for a good payday. There is a local Xpress Fitness that does a deep discount for teachers ($20/month), and since I've reached a weightloss plateau, I know I need to do more. I did 30 minutes of cardio today, plus one round of circuit training, 15 reps per machine. I am proud of myself, but must make this a habit, not a one-night stand. ;)

Today's Writing Prompt

2009-03-24T19:57:00.003-04:00

Today I gave the following prompt to my creative writing students:

Describe a "Murphy's Law" day, when everything that can go wrong does.

My kids really enjoyed this topic, and we got some hilarious results. One of the funniest to me started like this, "Shit. I said it because I stepped in it when I rolled out of bed this morning." I really hope that class isn't eliminated in all of the projected budget cuts for next year. Sigh!

Geography Lesson

2009-03-21T16:41:00.001-04:00

THE GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN

Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa, half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally beautiful!

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe, well developed and open to trade, especially for someone with cash.

Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain, very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.

Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece, gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit.

Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain, with a glorious and all conquering past. (BTW, this is my "location.")

Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel, has been through war and doesn't make the same mistakes twice, takes care of business.

Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada, self-preserving, but open to meeting new people.

After 70, she becomes Tibet, wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages...only those with an adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge visit there.

THE GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN

Between 1 and 78, a man is like Iran, ruled by nuts.

Luxurious, Timeless, Enduring

2009-03-18T23:54:00.003-04:00

I saw this rather interesting question on What Possessed Me, and couldn't resist pondering it here.

If your fairy godmother sent you a check for a hundred big ones and instructed you to buy something luxurious, timeless, and of enduring value, what would you buy?

My answer might be a bit unusual, but I would probably spend the $100 in my bulb garden. When we moved into our house in 1995, I planted some iris and lily bulbs that came from my grandmother's garden; they still bloom every year, and each year, I add more bulbs to the mix. I'm delighted each time the daffodils, tulips, irises, hyacinths, lilies, gladiolus, and more begin to pop out of the ground. The heady fragrance of some of these flowers is the ultimate luxury to me. Timeless? Enduring? Long after we're gone, those bulbs will still be propagating underground, waiting for someone else to enjoy them. I can't think of anything else that fits the bill.

But that's just me. What would you do with the money?

Saving Second Base

2009-03-18T20:20:00.001-04:00

Sarah's Squad -- Saving Second Base is rocking the Komen 5K!

A Worthy Cause

2009-03-16T17:49:00.005-04:00

In May, I am running (walking, jogging, perhaps crawling) in the Komen 5K in memory of fellow blogger Lisa from Clusterfook; in memory of my friends Ev and Pat, who lost their battles with breast cancer; for Karen's mom Judy and my friend Sarah, whose fights have only just begun.

If you love boobs, your own or someone else's, click here to donate, and many, many thanks. BTW, our team is called "Sarah's Squad -- Saving Second Base."

Nine Weeks Left

2009-03-15T09:42:00.002-04:00

3/4 of the school year is over. The kids have picked up the scent of summer, and they don't want to do anything but chase that smell. All you can do is hold tightly to the leash and do your best! For teachers and students, the pressure really cranks up during this last nine weeks. Everything rides on these stupid end of course tests, which they will take the first week of May. I use the word "stupid" because EOCTs are stupid. Seriously, I believe in cumulative finals, but not when the state government gets involved. Let the countdown begin...

Sunday Night Blues

2009-03-08T20:19:00.005-04:00

You know that feeling of dread you get on Sunday night when you know you have to return to work or school on Monday morning? At times, it's so bad that you convince yourself you're "coming down with something." Well, if you don't know this feeling, you must really love what you're doing, but apparently, this common malady can even happen to people who actually like their jobs.

Despite all the stress it causes me, I can honestly say that, overall, I like my job. Unfortunately, this doesn't stop the SNBs for me. I read a relevant article recently about this condition. In my case, I think that most of my stress/depression comes from the knowledge that I have unfinished work waiting for me. I'm probably more selfish with my time off than some teachers; I try to get all or most of my work done at school so that I'm not continuously bringing home work evenings and weekends. Unfortunately, there is never enough time in the day, and work starts to pile up. Even after spending several hours grading papers on Saturday, all I can think about is the work waiting for me in the morning. Add to that the fact that grades must be input for report cards by Friday -- you've got a stress-filled me.

Call it a "new March resolution," but I am going to work on this problem. I like the idea of working a little later Friday evening to ensure that the rest of the weekend truly is free time. I could also take work home evenings, but limit the amount of time I devote to this work. Perhaps Sunday night "me time" would also combat these feelings, but I would have to be caught up to allow myself to enjoy that indulgence.

Anyone else feel like this? Have any suggestions for me?

Great Giveaway

2009-03-07T10:10:00.002-05:00

Attention gourmet friends, check out the Chef's Basket Sweepstakes at Ile de France. The package includes:
Two (2) jars of Bonne Mamon jam (2 flavors)
One (1) box Ile de France Le petit pain grille
One (1) jar cornichon (small pickles)
Two (2) saucisson sec (French sausages)
One (1) wheel of Ile de France Brie (2.2 Lbs)
One (1) buchette Ile de France plain goat cheese (10.5 oz)

Instant French picnic, anyone?

Spring Snow

2009-03-01T16:55:00.002-05:00

Chicken Soup

2009-02-28T14:33:00.003-05:00

Wish there was a reasonable substitute for homemade chicken soup. I have some kind of bug or something, and all I want is a big bowl of chicken soup, which doesn't exactly fit well into the diet of a pescetarian. Maybe I can talk Mike into going to Evergreen and grabbing some Hot and Sour soup for me. They claim their version is vegetarian. Who knows?

The other day, I thought I was getting pinkeye, because my eyes were so red and itchy. That has passed, but now I am running a low-grade fever, coughing, and feeling like crap. I am sure I can blame some students for this. :/

Uncreative Writing Class

2009-02-25T18:48:00.003-05:00

So, today I took my Creative Writing class outside for a little "sensory" walk. It's an activity I enjoy, in which they bring their notepads and jot down everything that's appealing to their senses. I've done this before. Sadly, this semester batch of kids is no more impressed/impressive than last semester's: they walk around complaining, whining, bitching, etc. It's cold out here. This is stupid. Are we going to walk around the whole school? People are looking out the window at us. This is lame. Can we go back inside yet? Ms. B, you're weird. Blah blah blah. The point is to pay attention, folks, and live in the moment. When we go back inside, we use our observations to write a poem, a story, an essay, whatever comes to mind. Most of them couldn't write much of anything other than how lame it is to go walking outside. Sigh!

Cuteness

2009-02-22T17:46:00.002-05:00

Your fairy is called Moth Willowfilter

She is a caster of weird dreams.

She lives close to crystal caverns and stalactite grottoes.

She is only seen on midsummer's eve.

She collects crystals to wear on her dresses.
She has delicate green colored wings like a cicada.

Get your free fairy name here!

Juno Update

2009-02-18T17:32:00.005-05:00

Juno has moved back in with her mom, effective today. Mom insisted; I certainly didn't interfere. I do not have the financial means, not to mention all of the other means that might be required, to take care of a pregnant teenager who isn't even mine. I am tender-hearted, but there are limits. Having known this kid her entire life -- met her within hours of being born -- I am still reeling. Too close to home, know what I mean?

Her mom is a teacher in another county and can keep her on insurance if she re-enrolls in school before her 19th birthday. It is obviously best for all concerned if she moves back in with her mom, so I'm glad that's happening. She didn't want to live with her mom because she says mom is too controlling, but guess she just has to get over that.

For the sake of good karma, I am letting go of the fact that she obviously tried to pull one over on me. There's no way she didn't at least suspect that she was pregnant before she moved in here; she now says she hasn't had a period since before Christmas. No point in being angry with a scared, desperate kid, you know?

Too much drama!

Facebook folks; it probably goes without saying but I want to keep this discussion off FB. ;) Thanks!

Suckered

2009-02-16T08:46:00.002-05:00

The shortest version of this story goes like this: the nearly-19-year-old daughter of my friend who died in January called me recently and asked me if she could stay with us. She said she had no place to go, because she can't get along with her mom. She said she wanted to try to finish school and get a job, and would just stay with us until she could get her life together. OK, fine. She's been with us a week, and yesterday, she told me that she has just realized that she's a month late for her period. And this morning, she took a pregnancy test and told me...she is pregnant. Fuck.

:::thud:::

Happy Things

2009-02-14T10:17:00.007-05:00

I found these lovely printable poetry Valentines at poets.org.
Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!

Kroger and Publix now have my new favorite sweetener at a reasonable price:

Last night, I made my homemade Shrimp Étouffée, which Mike gobbled up and declared it was better than anything we could have gotten at a restaurant. As sweet as that was, we are going out to dinner tonight for Valentine's. ;) I'm thinking Little Hawaii, which is a terrific local Polynesian place with delicious noodle bowls, among other dishes.

Hope everyone is having a great day!

Rant

2009-02-11T18:23:00.002-05:00

In the words of Melvin Eudall, "People who talk in metaphors oughta shampoo my crotch."

OK, to be more precise, I don't have a problem with metaphors; I just liked that line from the movie. However, I do have a problem with BAD customer service, which I received today, and for which I am now in a pissy mood.

Clueless lady at freakin' Wallyworld, when you are helping a customer who has alread waited patiently in line longer than necessary, do not abandon said customer to go help someone else, all the while holding her merchandise hostage.

That is all.

One Word Answers

2009-02-04T18:57:00.000-05:00

USING ONLY ONE WORD! It's not as easy as you might think! Copy and change the answers to suit you and pass it on. It's really hard to only use one word answers. This was fun, so consider yourself tagged.

1. Where is your cell phone? purse
2. Your significant other? bowling
3. Your hair? short
4. Your mother? Prozac
5. Your father? deceased
6. Your favorite thing? music
7. Your dream last night? scary
8. Your favorite drink? coffee
9. Your dream/goal? piano
10. What room you are in? dining
11. Your hobby? music
12. Your fear? snakes
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? here
14. Where were you last night? bed
16. Muffins? mini
17. Wish list item? Calphalon
18. Where you grew up? won't
19. Last thing you did? phone
20. What are you wearing? clothes
21. Your TV? loud
22. Your pets? fun
23. Friends? laughter
24. Your life? good
25. Your mood? normal
26. Missing some one? Cary
27. Car? guzzler
28. Something you're not wearing? shoes