The Rest of the Story

I withheld my pisstivity long enough to allow myself the other emotions associated with graduation, but here's the rest of the story: three days before graduation, Chelsea wrecked my car. She was driving my car because she has torn up the transmission on her own car; I guess my car needed to be broken, too. Thank God, though, that she WAS in my car because she hit the side of an 18-wheeler. Had she been in her own car, it would have gone under the 18-wheeler, and I don't even want to think about that. She's OK, despite a little lingering soreness and stiffness. I'm pretty sure she was texting while driving or otherwise distracted because an 18-wheeler changing lanes is kinda hard to miss. She was charged with failure to yield -- not good.

I am thanking God that she's fine, and the car is being fixed. In fact, both cars are being fixed. In the meantime, however, she is making me want to stick my finger in my eye and swirl it around in frustration. Every time I *think* we're starting to mature and get ready for adulthood, she starts making me nuts again. What's going on, you ask?

1. We found out she stole some checks from the back of the checkbook and used them. Small amounts, but it's the idea that she would steal from us at all that pisses me off. Her excuse: "I didn't think you would find out." I'm beyond horrified and I've gone through the entire range of emotions about this. There is nothing you can say that I haven't already thought. Primarily, we are fixing her car and allowing her to keep her graduation money so that she is one step closer to moving out of our house. We must cut the ties and force her to grow up, if she's ever going to be someone that anyone would trust.

2. However, she keeps waffling on idea of living on campus. She has excuses for all the reasons she thinks it would be better for her to live at home and commute; she claims she will make better grades if she lives at home, blah blah. How does she know, having never done this before? We decided a long time ago she needs to live on campus and get the full college experience, not to mention, give us a little break from all of the attention-consumption that is Chelsea. We also feel like it's time our son got some of the attention; he's starting high school in the fall, playing in the marching band, and needs to be the star for a while. She is trying to manipulate her DADDY into talking the mean mom into letting her stay at home. She even crawled in our bed last night when we were getting ready for bed and said, "Wow, this is just like when I was little girl, Daddy," trying to be cute.

3. She doesn't want to get a job right now; she thinks she should wait until after her birthday in July to look for a job. She's picky about jobs, refusing to even apply at a fast food restaurant or grocery store and believes if she waits until she is 18, she will automatically get a better job. We don't care where she works. We want her to get a job NOW (yesterday) for several reasons. She needs the money, obviously, and we need to spend less on her. When she goes to court about the wreck mentioned above, we have been advised that the judge may recommend suspension of her license, based on the fact that she was at fault and already had a speeding ticket on her record. However, with a job, and starting college in the fall, the judge may go easy on her. Hell, I am working a summer job myself just to make ends meet; the least she can do is get a damn job.

4. She wants to spend her graduation money on a CD player and sound system for her car. I think another distraction in the car is the last thing she needs. She argues, "Well it's my money, right?" I advised her she might need that money when school starts for books or fees. When she learned that we might make her pay for some small fraction of the cost of college, she had a little hissy fit and said that maybe she won't start school until January, if she's expected to pay anything. "I will need to work a while to get some money together if y'all are going to make me pay for anything," she declared petulantly. I worked 3 fucking jobs while I was in college, just saying, and if she had actually applied herself the first two years of high school, she might have qualified for more scholarship money.

5. She just now asked me, "If my car is ready today, can I go out tonight?"

OMG she needs to move out. I love this kid as much as I love breathing, but I feel like I am giving birth to her all over again. Please tell me; is it always like this? Did any of you treat your parents this way? I sure as hell didn't because I was too afraid of the consequences. I've tried not to be the psycho asshole parents like my mom, and my dad too in some ways, but all this biting my tongue is making me insane. I feel like I am going to blow apart in a million pieces, and when I do, it's going to be very bad for her. Mike seems to be on the same page with me about everything, although not quite as resolved about her moving out, but none of this seems to be stressing him out like it is me.

Argggghh! Maybe I suck at this parenting thing.

Milestones

Milestones.

The first smile.
The first tooth.
The first words.
The first steps.
The first boo-boo.
The first day of school.

And before you know it, that part of life is over, and your baby is graduating. Oh, there will be other firsts, but somehow, it won't be the same.

As if graduation wasn't emotional enough, our principal decided that teachers with graduating children should give the diplomas to their children. As instructed, I waited until Chelsea was in the line, close to the stairs, getting ready to cross the stage. I slipped behind the principal, and the counselor handed me Chelsea's diploma. As she stepped up on the stage, she flashed me a giant smile. I was supposed to hand her the diploma and shake her hand, but, moved by the moment, I grabbed her and hugged her instead. A chorus of aww's went up. I whispered, "I'm proud of you," and she said, "I love you too, Mom." I pressed her diploma into her hand, and let her make her way across the stage, shaking hands with all of the officials. When she stepped off the stage, the spell was broken and I headed back to my seat, feeling empty and full at the same time.

Hold fast, Chelsea.

What's Growing?

Here's what's getting ready to burst out of the ground: Roma tomatoes,bell peppers, peas, beans, squash, lettuce, carrots, and cucumbers. Things will get exciting soon, so stick around.

It's been a while since I updated; we're very caught up in the countdown to graduation: 5 days! I have a long emotional post writing itself in my head right now. Check back in a week, if not sooner. Haha.

The Prom That Never Was

I look pissy because Chelsea is acting like Promzilla during this photo shoot. Also, whoever took this picture made me look like Venus di Milo.


She looks beautiful, doesn't she?

Good thing we took lots of pictures before the prom. Long story short -- 3 girls on the limo-bus brought alcohol and got caught with it. Because their actions voided the contract, he left the entire busload of 28 students at a restaurant. He refused to drive them any further. Kids called parents or a friend to pick them up, but mine ended up so pissed off, she opted not to even go to the prom. Some $500 down the drain (dress, accessories, tanning, prom tickets, limo-bus, etc.) Sigh.