You might be a teacher if...

1. You believe the playground should be equipped with a Ritalin salt lick.
2. You want to slap the next person that says "Must be nice to work 8 to 3:20 and have summers off!"
3. You can tell it's a full moon without ever looking outside.
4. You believe "shallow gene pool" and "beat this child" should have their own boxes on the report card.
5. You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says "Boy, the kids sure are mellow today!"
6. When out in public you feel the urge to snap your fingers at children you do not know and correct their behavior.
7. You have no social life between August and June.
8. Marking all A's on report cards would make your life SO much easier.
9. You think people should be required to get a government permit before being allowed to reproduce.
10. You laugh uncontrollably when people refer to the teachers' workroom as the LOUNGE.
11. You think caffeine should be available in an intravenous form.
12. Meeting a child's parent instantly answers the question "WHY IS THIS CHILD LIKE THIS?"